I have been recently shaken by an incident. So this girl sees a guy for some years and then decides to marry someone else because
a. Her family won’t accept the guy ( him being an immature and unsettled person)
b. She was more interested herself in a new proposal from a decent and good man.
She got engaged to the good man and suddenly the fiancé finds out about her previous boyfriend and naturally, breaks the engagement. The girl was very upset about it.. I was thinking one thing then, why do people get infatuated? Since I didn’t have this problem myself, I wonder what goes on in a young person’s mind.
I think I must have had thoughts about some “cute” guys I saw whether in the family or just random blokes passing by. It was mostly limited to thinking how cute they were..( normal shaytani thought..)As long as I can remember I always had my fate in my mind, ” My parents will choose a guy for me who will be the best, I am young and do not understand”. I didn’t feel the need for a relationship. I find myself being very primitive when it comes to these things, but I can’t understand. While I was talking about this with my mother she even though being older had a completely different point of view than me. She felt bad for the girl, for her ex lover, for her fiancé, in short everyone. As for me I thought both the girl and the boy should go to hell, for betraying family and following their own lusts. If people are interested in someone they should just propose for marriage and if it is refused, forget about it. All this hide and seek and playing with one’s respect gains them nothing. The fiancé should go to hell too as he would know the girl is now only interested in him but he throws her out instead of supporting her… I guess it’s kind of a “pukhtun ghairat” thing. In fact that was exactly the excuse he made for breaking the engagement.
I am unable to think in fairytale love terms. I think that a man and a woman only get attracted to each other on a purely physical basis if they’re not married because they don’t know each other yet. One cannot really know a person unless they live together. I have seen many couples married, who dated for years before they married and yet their marriages are very very unhappy. I really want to understand this from a young person’s point of view.. ( any of you out there less than 25, please do tell me)
How does this love thing happen? What is the objective of the relationship? What stops them from being together ? If it is a genuine reason then why pursue further? Just wondering…
As for the girl, may Allah help her…
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